I find myself once again being pushed towards the edge of something. Recently I've felt quite stagnant in areas of my life that hadn't bothered me enough individually to bring me down. Its not all bad though; I have my foundation in my beautiful wife and son, and so long as they're in my life, nothing will really get me down. For the last three years, I've felt that I can say I've defeated depression. It had been my constant companion for at least 20 years, but since I met Amy, depression got a Viking funeral.
Unfortunately, I'm back to not being all that creative, unless you count the carpentry work of putting a house that should have been condemned back into a state of being ready to live in, and occasionally planning ideas for potential future video games, future projects, and other general daydreams.
I've lost the handle on maintaining my weight and being aware of the caloric intake, so over the course of the last 3 years I've crept back up to where I was at my heaviest, and I'm starting to feel it in the form of constant pain in my knees and feet.
The house isn't coming along fast enough, and it's getting to be beyond frustrating for all parties.
I have no time or energy left after work and the house to study for certificates that would unlock better job opportunities without cutting out the little time I do have with my family.
Change is on the horizon. Two things I can work on immediately, however unpleasant they may be, are my weight and the house. I need to hit the optimal flow again with regards to progress on the house, stay focused on specific projects and see them through to completion instead of bouncing around. I need to monitor my caloric intake at the very least, and possibly even add some dreaded exercise, however much it feels like wasted time when time is at a premium.
Once we're in the house, I can start on the rest; building my extension for the garage, potentially starting a business, sticking with learning how to code and completing one of the many projects I feel would be very marketable (read: I would buy them if someone else made them)...
It just takes so much time to get here.